School District Proud of Anti-Bullying Program that Didn't Work
Have you heard about Austin Moore, the 13 year old boy in Deland Middle School in Florida who planned to commit a Columbine-type shooting, with the help of a couple of friends who were also being bullied? You can read about it here: Teen: Bullying Led To School Murder Plot
The article states, "The Volusia County School District said it prided itself on its anti-bullying program, but Moore said talking to school officials as dictated by the program failed."
The Florida State legislature is currently in the final stages of passing an anti-bullying law requiring schools to protect kids from bullying. While everyone seems to support anti-bullying laws (they only disagree on the details), they don't realize that these laws cannot make bullying disappear because anti-bullying programs generally don't work or make the problem worse. All these laws do is give ammunition to parents to sue their schools for failing to protect their children from bullying, a process that will bankrupt schools if enough parents take advantage of them.
As the article tells us, Austin Moore did what anti-bullying policies tell kids to do: to tell school authorities that they are being bullied. Unfortunately, as almost any kid can tell you, telling doesn't work. It just makes the kids angry at you for telling on them, so then they really want to beat you up. And when the school tells you repeatedly how terrible bullies are, that they are the moral equivalents of murderers, and that you must tell the school on bullies, what do you do when the school fails to live up to its end of the bargain and the kids keep on picking on you? You may very well decide, as Austin Moore and friends did, that you have no choice but to take justice into your own hands and shoot up the school.
Why is the Volusia County School District so proud of it's anti-bullying program?
The article states, "The Volusia County School District said it prided itself on its anti-bullying program, but Moore said talking to school officials as dictated by the program failed."
The Florida State legislature is currently in the final stages of passing an anti-bullying law requiring schools to protect kids from bullying. While everyone seems to support anti-bullying laws (they only disagree on the details), they don't realize that these laws cannot make bullying disappear because anti-bullying programs generally don't work or make the problem worse. All these laws do is give ammunition to parents to sue their schools for failing to protect their children from bullying, a process that will bankrupt schools if enough parents take advantage of them.
As the article tells us, Austin Moore did what anti-bullying policies tell kids to do: to tell school authorities that they are being bullied. Unfortunately, as almost any kid can tell you, telling doesn't work. It just makes the kids angry at you for telling on them, so then they really want to beat you up. And when the school tells you repeatedly how terrible bullies are, that they are the moral equivalents of murderers, and that you must tell the school on bullies, what do you do when the school fails to live up to its end of the bargain and the kids keep on picking on you? You may very well decide, as Austin Moore and friends did, that you have no choice but to take justice into your own hands and shoot up the school.
Why is the Volusia County School District so proud of it's anti-bullying program?
posted by Izzy Kalman at
11:05 AM
2 Comments:
Excellent observations on this problem. "Telling" escalates the problem, and often leads to violence, doesn't lead to a solution.
My challenge in making your approach work is that I wear my feelings on my face, and I see my children doing the same. It's hard not to show that someone's words have hurt. BTW, I'm 47 years old. Not a bullying victim. Thoughts?
Thank you
Feelings are determined by our attitudes, meaning, the way we think about things influences the way we respond to them emotionally.
If we believe that it is terrible for anyone to criticize or insult us, we will get upset when anyone does this to us. Our inner belief is, "No one has a right to criticize or insult me."
However, this belief is irrational. People do have the right to criticize and insult us. In fact, this right is guaranteed to us in the First Amendment to our Constitution. It is called Freedom of Speech and is the cornerstone of democracy. No one is perfect, and other people see our imperfections better than we do. Inevitably, people will occasionally tell us what they think is wrong with us. We can't expect the world world to make believe we are perfect. Nor is it healthy to make believe everyone is perfect or we won't be able to improve ourselves.
When we realize that people do, in fact, have the right to criticize and insult us, we are less likely to get upset when it happens. It is important to realize that when people criticize or insult us, it is really their way of trying to help us improve ourselves. So we should be grateful to them rather than angry or upset.
Of course, this is easier said than done. When I work with people, I do a lot of role-playing to teach them how to handle situations. Role-playing is far more effective than reading, so unfortunately I can't be as effective in helping people gain control over their feelings through writing as when I can actually work with them.
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