Florida Archdiocese Permits After-School Cyberbullying, Then Brazenly Blames Parents

Thanks to Florida’s tough new school anti-bullying laws, which earned that state a rating of A++ with Bully Police USA, parents are now able to set the Miami Archdiocese straight about another one of it’s areas of perverted morality. As though condoning the sexual abuse of children by priests weren’t enough, the Catholic Archdiocese allows students to bully each other after school hours, according to a new lawsuit. Click here to read the full story. Apparently the Catholic church, that bastion of archaic morality, has failed to realize that once a student is enrolled in a school, that school becomes legally responsible for the student’s behavior round-the-clock. And to make matters worse, the Archdiocese had the gall to suggest that parents show some accountability for what their children do when they’re at home. “At some point, the parents must kick in and know what's going on,” the Archdiocese spokesperson and lawsuit defendant, Mary Ross Agosta, brazenly asserted.

According to the article, the school, Our Lady of Lourdes Academy, has an anti-bully policy forbidding kids to use cell phones during school hours. As the Archdiocese spokesperson Agosta explained, “Students must leave their cell phones in lockers and the school does not have Internet access.”

Since the bullies were not permitted to cyber-bully in school, the bullies requested permission from the school principal to use their cell phones and computers to bully their victim after school hours. “Sure, you have my permission,” said the principal. “And my blessing. That snotty little witch [referring to the teenage plaintiff] has been doing nothing but snitching on kids for picking on her. She is a female Judas, and I hope you kids give her what she deserves. Do you need my permission in writing, or is my spoken word sufficient?” Unfortunately, the bullies said they did not need her written permission, so the above factual account is conveniently being denied by the Archdiocese.

What shocked me most, though, is the paltry sum that’s being requested in the lawsuit: a miserly “more than $15,000.” Perhaps this is because it’s a Catholic school. If it were a Jewish school (and I can get away with saying this because I am a Jew) they would have sued for millions, as the financially savvy parents did in a recent bullying suit against a Jewish school in Florida. Is the suffering of a Jewish child really worth so much more than that of a Catholic?

[7.28.08 Addendum: Some people who read this blog took me too seriously. It is strictly satirical. I am not criticizing the church. I am making fun of our absurd anti-bully laws.]

[For a deeper understanding of anti-bully laws, read my articles, The Insanity of Workplace Anti-Bullying Laws and The Insanity of School Anti-Bullying Laws.]