Chris Lohman, MAT (Masters in Teaching) Burna,  KY

Hello, Your site is really great and has helped me a lot. I had been to 3 therapist before but none could help with bullying like you did. I wish I had Izzy's manual when I was 5, it would have made my school time much more fun. Best regards, Stefan Hyltoft, Maribo, Denmark

I bully a lot now; I used to tell myself "I'm not gonna be like them" (the bullies). But now I have fun teasing people all the time. I've made good  friends instead of enemies with this manual. Amazing. I think this is the best self-help book of all time.
“I was bullied ever since I was a little girl because they thought I was weird and I had a mental illness. I tried using the "turn the other cheek method" at age 11, but I think I did it the wrong way. It encouraged the bullies to do more and it made me end up feeling totally dejected. By age 12, after nearly killing myself, I decided to be a bit more assertive. Big mistake, I ended up worse, until I came across your site a few months ago... and then I realized that I could combine assertiveness and turning the other cheek.

For example, when someone says I'm weird, I say, "thank you" and smile. If someone asks if I'm suffering from insanity, I reply, "I am not suffering from insanity, I am enjoying it." Whenever someone calls me a mean name or insults me, I just take it the other way around and they usually know better than sticking around. The weird thing is, instead of the other way around, I end up enjoying THEIR reactions when they find out I couldn't be defeated. It works, it really really really works!

Some of the kids still think I am a weirdo, but others actually became nicer to me (one became my best-friend, turns out she only bullied me because she was bullied herself) and some said they admired my 'resilience'! They wanted to know how I did it, so I showed them your site. Hardly anyone bullies me anymore, and my buddies bully no one anymore, either.

Thank you so much for helping. You helped save my life, and continue to save others. “

Carmela, 14 years old, Manila, Philippines

 

“Wow! This really works! As a parent who was guilty of over reacting to my kids teasing and play fighting, thank you! You have brought peace into my home. It even worked with my husband! As a school social worker, I frequently run anger management groups with kids and tell them that by reacting to other's teasing they are giving their power away. Thanks for the free downloads!

Carol Touchton, Social Worker”

 

Dear Izzy,
I am so happy to have found your demo videos on-line.  I attended your anger control workshop about 5 years ago (in Syracuse).  Since then I have let the principles of the anger game into my life more and more, and promoted the ideas you taught to friends and clients.  I started with my kids and moved on to clients and friends.  The techniques are effective immediately and so satisfying.  The difficult part is when you know the "right response" but are unable to catch yourself before the old "reactive response" comes out. But the more I practice and teach, the better I am at doing what I want to do!!
The video demos are fabulous!!!!  My clients get the insight immediately because the contrast is so evident and the result is palpable.  I show everyone "the idiot game" and save the others for more particular situations. Keep up the good work!!! You are funny and fabulous and your honesty and humility in your "right responses" carry the day!! 

Jan Prentice,licensed clinical social worker, Samarita Counseling Center, Endicott, NY  

Dear Izzy
My name is Alex, I want you to know that the Billy story and the lessons really helped me. I dont "throw bread crumbs" anymore!   I used to always swear and sream at those who bothered me, I even had temper tantrums and threw my binders on the floor almost every time. The idea of bullies2buddies really works!! When  I started at my new school in Semptember, I was teased alot. When I realized I was Billy, with the help of my Child and Youth Worker, I stopped. In about two weeks the boy began to tease me less and less.  He saw that I was not reacting, it wasn`t much fun for him anymore, sucker! Because he stopped, I wouldn't say whe,re buddies... but he is more respectful of me. We all had one thing in common, you where  right! We get upset. Even today, kids are spreading a rummor about me. Before I would loose it! But today, I dont give a hoot! They can say what they want because I know its not true and if I get upset it will only make it worse and they will just keep doing it! I use'd to think that the one's that teased me hated me. But I realized they where just having fun with me, without me knowing?! I use to think they would hit me but I know now that I have a invisible shield. If they do cross it, then they mess with the law and I'm not the one that gets in trouble.
One more thing... the last lesson also helped me. My 11yr old sister and I always used to fight at least three times a day. We would both get in trouble with our parents and my parents would always be feeling sad, upset, dissapointed and even very angry. Now, my sister and I get along a little better. We dont argue anywhere near as much. I'm acting more mature. I'm not hitting or swearing anymore. when she says  things to make me angry.
Thanks for all our help! Alexandre, gr 7, 13 yrs old. 

My son is in the sixth grade. He has had difficulties with bullies since the 2nd grade.  Frequently, the anger he felt about being bullied spilled over in our home as he misdirected his anger towards others in our family.  At one point just towards the beginning of the school year, he complained that there were so many kids who bullied him.

I read your material several months ago and shared it with my son.  There was an immediate improvement in the situation when he began applying your advice.  The extent of the improvement became apparent just yesterday, when I overheard my son telling his sister that the "bullies have disappeared".Remarkably, he has now made friends with one of the boys who previously bullied him.  Also, just as you suggest, he is finding that he is making many new friends now that he is now longer perceived as a victim. Your advice is simple and effective. Keep up the good work. Your advice has dramtically improved my son's life. 

 

DeMott Paul, Cincinnati, Ohio

 

 

My day started terribly with my two kids fighting, which has been the bane of my existence. I have grown to hate the constant refereeing. My 1st grade son has been being bullied and teased at school so I'd been researching bullying.  

Came across your site so started reading it during one of the brief lulls where my children were actually playing all right with each other. And then came the "Mom, she said ... " I used your "did you believe it" and he said yes. I had to go back to that page and review what do with a yes answer. And just as you said, the matter was dropped with no one getting indignant or anything escalated. A minute later, my daughter does the "he won't let me” and I used the "why are you telling me" and magically she talks to him and the matter just drops (because as you said, these matters really aren’t important to them). No fight! I've known for a while that when I get involved the fight becomes about me but I didn't know what to do. Ignoring it only escalated it. You have given me simple, easy tools. Thank you! Kris Keener Hillsboro, OR

 

Hi, Izzy! My name is Mary, I'm 16 years old and I'm from Russia, Moscow. Sorry my English isn't excellent. I haven't got words to thank you for your article "how to stop being teased...". Recently weeks ago my classmates began to tease and bully me. I am a popular enough girl, I have a lot of friends, and I think I am pretty and clever. But in my school there are some boys (my classmates) who LOVE teasing everybody. Then they chose me. I was upset, I was ready to cry... I must say that all my life I thought a lot about people around me, I was always upset when somebody said something unpleasant to me. And when, 2 weeks ago, teasing began, I was shocked. I tried saying to them that they must end it, I tried not to react to them, but nothing got better. And then, I accidentally saw your article in the Internet. I read it very quickly and I was really SHOCKED - it all became so clear!!! You are a genius. You tell me all so clearly... THANK you so much! Your theory works. Anywhere. In Russia or in USA...It works. I was shocked that your fantastic article is on only 1 Russian site. A lot of poor children must know about you and your article!! THANK you 100000 times. You saved me. THANKS!!! >From Masha

 

hello Mr. Izzy! My name is K. S. and I'm a big fan of your book Bullies to Buddies: How to Turn Your Enemies Into Friends. How did you ever come up with all of your great advice. It has made my life so much easier. I have learned to accept my bully as a friend, rather an enemy. I'm 14 and have been bullied all my life because of my sever allergies. I was so angry all the time and soon started to take it out on the people at my house. Then one day my sister said, "hey leave her alone you big fat bully." That stopped me from whatever I was about to do. I stayed up that night and thought about what she had said. I still do. A few months ago I looked at your website and it has taught me how to be a better self and to stop taking it out on my family and friends. Thanks so much for your worldly advice, Many thanks, K. S.

Hi_ both the manuals for students and for parents and teachers are great_ i cant believe that i found so much without paying a penny_ thankyou so much Izzy...in our country resources are not so easily available so your manual is also very precious. also cos its good :-_ i am glad you have written about the importance of laughing at self- i think we dont realise its importance, and so end up being hurt and boring_ i am a school counsellor and i am sure your manual will have beneficial effects on my students and teachers and parents. thanks again_ Gunjan, Bombay International School

 

Hello____Thank you for your information and your insight on bullying. I am a martial arts instructor and a parent of four. I also work as a special Advocate for children _juvenile delinquents, serious offenders, victims of abuse and neglect in the Norfolk, VA Family Court System. I have been searching the internet reading different programs information and websites on the subj. matter. Looking for the right way to approach bullying and to instruct kids on what the correct approach would be to deal with bullys. ____Your 10 lessons are it_ You tapped into alot of good key concepts in dealing with the problem, alot of methods that I have thought about but never had the confidence to share til now. ____Thanks Again,____J. Roman

 

 

Hi Izzy,  I just wanted to take an opportunity to say thanks for what you've contributed to the world with your Bullies2Buddies website and the trainings that you do.  I work in a mental health clinic for kids and families in Columbia, Missouri, and supervise community support workers.  I have been using your materials (ascribing full credit to you, of course) for several years now and have almost completed reading pretty much everything you've written.  It's really brilliant stuff and, perplexingly, I must admit, extremely simple, logical and straightforward.  That is, I know, due to your understanding that there are no complex solutions.  It has helped me out in my personal life, as well.  Thanks very much and I hope that you, if you haven't already, get really rich as a result of your work.   Sincerely, Scott Leiker, LPC

 

 

I am loving this___ As a parent and a teacher, you have provided me with some very important tools that are written clearly and concisely with fabulous rationales. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you_ I have been using humor with my students--mainly making fun of myself and others who can _take a joke_, and now I know WHY it works. Huh, and to think that I thought I was just a great teacher...seriously, this is an excellent web site and I_ll be sharing it with my colleagues and friends _they are not always the same people, don_t cha know__.__Katie Deakins__Alternative School Teacher__Harrison, AR