Unfortunately, teasing is not generally recognized by schools as the devastating problem that it really is, despite the fact that it is the cause of almost all fights between students. Teasing is usually considered a routine disciplinary problem that requires either punishment of the teaser or a superficial ritual of "kiss and make up." Such procedures rarely put an end to the teasing. Punishing the teasers, in particular, always exacerbates the problem: the gratified victims feel encouraged to continue to try to get their teasers in trouble, and the punished teaser looks to get back at his victim for getting him in trouble. In recent years, it has become popular to refer teasers and their victims for peer mediation programs that teach conflict-resolution and negotiation skills. While such activities can have great benefits in many situations, if you think about it, what exactly is there to negotiate when someone calls you an idiot, a fatso, or a nerd? Do you achieve a compromise and agree that you are only half an idiot, fatso, or nerd, or perhaps that you are both idiots, fatsos, or nerds? In fact, such peer mediation programs can be counterproductive. The US News and World Report of 4.6.99 reported that, "According to a study of a large peer-group-counseling effort in the Chicago public schools, the program was 'preponderantly harmful' and may actually have caused more delinquent behavior by putting troubled kids in increased contact with one another."

It is my impression that most counselors and therapists do not tackle teasing as a problem in its own right because they think it is a symptom of a larger emotional problem requiring counseling or therapy. However, to regard teasing as as a symptom of emotional difficulty is neither correct nor helpful. Being ridiculed by peers causes emotional suffering, and does so very powerfully. Imagine what would happen to you if your colleagues got together and decided to make fun of you day after day. It wouldn't take long before you become an emotional wreck! No amount of psychoanalysis or professional ego-boosting will do the teasing victim any good as long as his peers continue to ridicule him and treat him like an outcast. The suffering never ends unless the therapy also teaches the victim how to make the teasing stop. I have met victims of teasing who spent years in therapy, during which they may even have attempted suicide, yet were never taught how to stop people from making fun of them.