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Wishing all my readers a Happy Fathers Day, and hope
you all have a good reason to celebrate it.
This month's main subject is money, something our
great desire for is overshadowed only by our huge
ignorance of what it really is.
Of Money and Bullies
You're not a bully, are you? You probably don't think
so. At my Bullying and Sibling Rivalry seminars, between
the end of April through the end of May, I had my
seminar participants fill out an anonymous survey
(anonymous so they wouldn't be reluctant to provide
honest answers). One of the questions was, "I think I
am a bully." Of the 484 completed surveys I collected,
470 individuals, or 97%, answered "No". Few people
think of themselves as bullies, and this probably
includes you.
The anti-bully movement that has gripped the modern
world is made possible by the fact that most people do
not see themselves as bullies. Who would consciously
support a movement that condemns themselves?
Bullies are considered evil because they exert personal
power over other humans, and power is the taboo of
the modern world. Tell people that you would like to
have power over them and see how many friends you
have left!
This taboo against personal power was confirmed by
another of my survey questions. "I respect people who
seek to increase their personal power over other
people." 422 individuals, or 87%, answered "No".
Another question on the survey was, "Your salary is
being renegotiated. You can choose between earning
more than me or less than me for exactly the same job.
Which will you choose?" 450 participants, or 93%,
answered "More". (I suspect that many who
answered "Less" didn't properly understand the
question, which I should have worded more clearly.)
You, too, if you were in possession of your wits, would
also wish to earn more than me for your exact same job
if you had a choice.
The great majority of my seminar participants are
mental health professionals. We mental health
professionals are the last people in the world who
should be deceiving ourselves. How can we help others
understand themselves if we are fooling ourselves
about our own nature? Though it is impossible to
understand life in civilization without understanding
money, no one is ever taught what money actually IS.
This ignorance about the nature of money is precisely
what makes it possible to lie to ourselves and go on a
self-righteous crusade against bullies.
And that is the purpose of this article. I'm going to
open your eyes to the nature of money. If this lesson
sinks in, life should never look quite the same to you.
And I hope that afterwards, whenever you see
someone campaigning against bullies, the word that will
immediately come to your mind is HYPOCRITE.
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The Definition of Money |
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I will now tell you exactly what money is. The most
accurate definition of money - and if you know a better
one please let me know and I will replace mine -
is "POWER OVER PEOPLE." That's all it is - nothing more
and nothing less. All money is good for is controlling
people - getting them to work for you. This function
may be fairly obvious when you directly pay someone
for their work. But even when you buy a material
object, all you have paid for is human labor. When you
purchase a car, the Earth gets none of the money for
the materials that were extracted from it. All you paid
for is the work of other human beings to extract
materials from the Earth and transform them into a car.
We all want money because it is power over people.
We want to earn as much money per hour as possible
so that we can pay lower paid workers to do the
chores we don't want to do ourselves. If you earn $60
per hour (after taxes), you can work one hour and pay
someone who earns minimum wage to work more than
10 hours for you! Why dirty our hands and break our
backs cleaning our toilets when we can sit in the
comfort of our office listening to people talk and then
hire someone else to do the dirty work for us at a
fraction of our pay? Most of us encourage our children
to get a higher education so they can get a cushy job
doing what they love and pay others to do the menial
jobs they can't stand. The main reason the fast-food
industry does so well is that most people's time is more
valuable than the time of the people who cook at these
eating establishments.
I'm sorry to break the bad news to you, but if you want
to earn more money, you are not much different from
those we call bullies. It's just that money obscures this
fact. When we buy clothing made in a sweat shop, we
don't see the slaving person who sewed it for us. When
we call kids "bullies," it is because they make it obvious
that they are exerting power over others. They do it
with observable verbal or physical actions that put
others beneath them. They are displaying the raw,
natural side of power. But that is because kids don't
earn money. When we lived in nature, we didn't earn
money either because it hadn't been invented. As
adults in nature, we, too, had to get our power being
able to intimidate others - just like those we call bullies
today.
Now we live in civilization. Physical intimidation is no
longer the method of choice to have power, unless you
are a criminal, police officer, or soldier. Using personal
physical power in civilization is likely to get you in
trouble. Today, the primary method of having power is
through money. And that's why we all want more of it.
When you want to earn more money than me, it means
you want to have more power over me than I have
over you! Shame on you!
The great majority of people in this country are
Christians, yet most Christians don't understand what
Jesus taught. Jesus' most frequent complaint about
people is that they are hypocrites. He also noted the
power of money to corrupt: "It is easier for a camel to
go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to
enter into the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:24) When
you understand what money is, then you can
appreciate how right he was on both counts!
Since, as my survey showed, most people don't respect
those who want to increase their personal power over
others, and almost everyone wants more money, this
means that most people don't respect the kind of
people they are!
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How Money Hides our Violent Nature |
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Another couple of questions on my survey were
designed to show how money lets us hide our violent
nature from ourselves. To the question, "If I hire
someone else to kill, I am guilty of killing," 461
participants, or 95%, answered "Yes". To the
question, "I am personally responsible for killing
animals," 414, or 86%, answered "No".
Do you think that when you eat meat or fish, animals
killed themselves and jumped onto your plate? When
you purchase animal products, you paid someone to kill
them for you, which makes you responsible for killing
them. But since we pay money to others to slaughter
the animals where we can't see them, we can
conveniently avoid awareness that we are killers of
animals.
We think we abolished slavery in this country in 1865.
We didn't do anything of the sort. We only turned
slaves into independent contractors. Instead of owning
slaves, we just rent them. It turns out to be far more
efficient. Why buy whole persons and then have to
take care of their housing, health and children, when
you can just pay them for their labor and let them
worry about taking care of their own basic needs?
There are millions of people in "developing" countries
slaving in subhuman conditions to produce our cheaply
priced goods while we go around living in air-
conditioned houses and driving air-conditioned cars.
Though those workers are really our slaves, money
obscures this fact from our eyes because we don't see
those we pay to toil for us.
So from now on, whenever you hear the word "money,"
replace it in your mind with "power over people." This
practice will give you a much more accurate
understanding of reality.
And the next time you decide to condemn bullies, put
your money where your mouth is. Quit your high paying
job and go work at McDonalds for minimum wage.
Click here to apply for a job at McDonald's. »
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Life Enhancement Recommendation: Toastmasters |
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I attended Toastmasters for one year about five or six
years ago, and have always had it in the back of my
mind to write about it. When there is something really
wonderful out there that people can take advantage
of - especially when it is practically free - I like to let
everyone know.
Most people have heard of Toastmasters but know little
about it. It is a member-run non-profit organization
that helps people develop public speaking and
leadership abilities. I have been through many group
therapy experiences in my life, but I have to say that
Toastmasters -even though it is not a psychotherapy
group - was more "therapeutic" than any other of my
group experiences. When you have to make public
speeches, you start taking your life more seriously and
explore things you may otherwise have ignored. And
being able to speak clearly and to the point is a skill
that everyone can use.
At Toastmasters meetings, you are likely to hear
ordinary folk displaying remarkable speaking ability, yet
they were no better at speaking when they began than
the average person. They improved with experience
and gradually became remarkable speakers. And it can
happen to you, too. So if you are looking for an
experience that will dramatically improve your life, take
my word for it. Look up your local Toastmasters group
and join. You won't regret it.
Find out more about Toastmasters. »
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Movie Recommendations: Welcome to the Dollhouse; Monster |
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I love movies, though I don't watch them as often as I
would like. I just saw one again that I had seen several
years ago, when it first came out: "Welcome to the
Dollhouse." It is a low-budget flick that won the Grand
Jury Prize at the 1996 Sundance Film Festival. I know
of no movie that more realistically portrays both the
misery of victims of bullying and the dynamics of
common sibling rivalry. Unlike other movies dealing with
bullying, there is no glorification of victims or
demonization of bullies. Everyone is portrayed
mercilessly with all their human flaws. This gem of a
movie is both touching and hilarious. When I watch it, I
feel as though the writer went to my seminars and set
out to put my teachings into film. I cannot recommend
this movie highly enough. Just beware - if you only like
movies with happy endings, this one is not for you.
Another movie I would like to recommend is "Monster".
Charlize Theron does a phenomenal job of portraying
serial killer Aileen Carol Wuornos. For people in the
mental health fields, this movie is a "must-see."
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Call for Assistance |
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I don't ask for too much help, and when I do, it is not
usually for things that will benefit only myself. I write
these newsletters wanting as many people as possible
to read them. Many of my readers like my uncommon
points of view and wish everyone would be exposed to
them.
There is a good chance that you have a relationship
with an organization that has a website and/or sends
out newsletters. Many of these organizations seek
interesting articles to provide their readers. If you
believe an organization you know would like my
writings, please refer them to my newsletters and
website. They are free to reprint my articles and even
my complete online manuals, as long as they credit the
author. If you look through my previous newsletters,
I'm sure that you will find articles that would be of
interest to just about any organization.
My sincerest thanks, especially if you have gotten this
far in the newsletter,
Izzy Kalman
Search Izzy's previous newsletters. »
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