In this issue: |
School is back, and your lives have probably returned to normal. Enjoy the warm weather as long as it lasts. I am trying a new format for my newsletters. If it works well, I will be sticking with it.
I would also like to take this opportunity to wish my Jewish readers, and the world as well, a Happy and Healthy New Year. And if you fast on Yom Kippur, may it be an easy one.
Bullies to Buddies Book
As many of you know, I have published my new book for kids age 10 and up, "Bullies to Buddies: How to turn your enemies into friends!" I know I am biased when I say it is a wonderful book, but the reviewers are liking it, too. It won a 2005 iParenting media award. You can find a comprehensive review at Rebeccas reads.
The book teaches kids how to deal with bullying all by themselves and without getting anyone in trouble. It is similar to my manual, "How to Stop Being Teased and Bullied without Really Trying," that is available for free on Bullies2Buddies.com and as an audio CD for sale, but is more comprehensive. The book is in large 8.5'x11" format with easy to read print. Each of the four major sections ends with a multiple-choice quiz so that it can be used as a textbook.
You can read sample chapters of the book by going to www.BulliestoBuddiesbook.com. There are discounts available for quantity purchases. So if your school needs a good, inexpensive way for students to protect themselves from bullying while learning lessons that will last them a lifetime, you may want to recommend it to the principal. Or if you are a counselor or therapist, you may want to provide the book to your clients who are being bullied.
The book can be used as a fundraiser for PTAs or other school organizations. By purchasing at wholesale price and reselling to parents at cover price, the school can be helping kids while making a profit.
Europe Finally Waking Up
Several months ago, I wrote about the true danger to society coming not from violence in entertainment but from real-life authority figures preaching violence. When leaders speak, people follow. (Click here to read the article.) I am a fervent supporter of freedom of speech, but it does not cover incitement to violence. When a leader calls for his followers to kill, the leader is guilty of killing. Because of political correctness - not wanting to offend minority groups - European countries have permitted radical Muslim religious leaders to preach hatred and to call for killing of infidels. After the July bombings in London, European leaders woke up and realized they can no longer allow this to continue. England and some other European countries have finally made it a crime to preach violence and have been expelling religious leaders who do so. They have also been demanding that mainstream Muslim leaders start condemning fellow Muslims who call for violence.
It's about time. Let's hope they keep it up.
Izzy Kalman is a Moron, or, The Hypocrisy of Anti-Bullying Supporters
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. For years, I have been declaring that the simple fact that anti-bullying programs have good intentions is not enough to make them moral. If they make the situation worse, they are immoral.
Several months ago, a Canadian psychologist, David Smith, did a review of all the research on anti-bullying programs and found that on the whole they don't work. Interestingly, he called on the programs to continue anyway because if we do them long enough, eventually we may find out what does work.
In recent weeks, I have become more aggressive in trying to inform the public why these programs don't work and what does. I sent a press releases to reporters entitled "Will a School Anti-Bullying Law Bankrupt Your School?" It informs them that research indicates these programs don't work, and that even mental health professionals don't know how to get rid of bullying from their own lives, yet we want schools to be held responsible for making kids accomplish what human behavior experts can't. Holding schools legally responsible for protecting kids from bullying does not magically make bullying disappear. However, it means that schools can be sued if they don't completely stop bullying among students - an impossible goal. Awards of hundreds of thousands and even millions of dollars have been won by individual parents during the past year because their children's schools failed to stop their child from being bullied. When parents and lawyers catch on - and they are beginning to do so - every school will be liable to lawsuits.
The anti-bully movement has done such a phenomenal job of convincing everyone that it is good to go after 'bullies" that many people have no interest in evidence to the contrary. Look at this response I received from one newspaper editor:
Your logic here sucks. I'm sorry, you depend on me being stupid to take this trash seriously. You might want to run this by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Oh. Sorry. They're dead, as are 10 or so people who bullied them plus several innocent bystanders. But that's just life, right? Take me off your mailing list. You're a moron.
Harry Jackson Jr., MS, AHCJ
Feature writer Health & Fitness
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
If Mr. Jackson is so gung-ho that children not be forced to be nice to each other, why does he think it is okay to insult my logic and call me a "moron"? And he actually believes Dylan Klebald and Eric Harris were justified in killing thirteen people. What makes him better than the "bullies" he condemns? People are so eager to go after "bullies" because it is always "the other person." Perhaps if we realized that the bullies are us, maybe we would stop supporting the hypocritical anti-bully crusade.
Movie Recommendation: City of God
My good friend, Robert Kabakoff, a film buff and aspiring move actor, has been urging me to see City of God. I finally got around to it, and Rob was right. It is a phenomenal movie. It is a powerful drama about the incredibly violent way of life for kids in the in Rio de Janeiro slum known as the "City of God"l. The filming and editing were superb, as was the acting of the young actors. There is an amazing scene of a terrified chicken desperately trying to escape from gun-wielding gang members.
This movie is not for the feint-hearted. If you can't stand realistic violence, stay away from it. While the movie is not a documentary, you know that this is really what life is like in such slums. And the sad thing is that there are many places in the world where life is just like this.
We often hear about the horrible conditions in United States slums. Compared to the slums in many other countries, ours are a Paradise. I am not saying that people should be happy in our slums because others are worse, but it should help put things in perspective.
Best Wishes,
Izzy Kalman
email: izzy@bullies2buddies.com
voice: (718) 983-1333
web: http://www.bullies2buddies.com