Fear, by definition, is felt toward enemies. We don't need to fear our friends because they’re not out to harm us. By fearing anti–Semites, we are treating them like enemies. Can we expect them to treat us in return like friends?

Furthermore, when we fear others, we put them in the stronger position and we automatically lose. All living creatures are biologically programmed to seek power and to win conflicts, so the very act of fearing anti–Semites actually encourages them to keep on doing what scares us. And since we’re in the losing position, they can’t respect us.

We hate those we fear. How can we expect to turn anti–Semites into our friends when we hate them? They’ll hate us right back!

It’s well known that the best way to reduce racism is by having contact between groups so that we can get to know each others as fellow humans rather than as stereotypes. But when we fear people, we avoid them. By keeping our distance from those we consider anti-Semites, we prevent the possibility of improving our attitudes toward one another.

Being Who We Are

Jews have often wanted to hide their identity to avoid discrimination and/or the embarrassment of being different. Most of us have abandoned outward display of our Jewishness, and many of us have changed our names to sound less Jewish. Ultimately, I don't think we can earn respect of the Gentile world by trying to disguise who we are, and it certainly doesn’t increase our respect for ourselves. I have great admiration for those Jews, particularly the Ultra–Orthodox, who retain their traditional dress and customs with no concern that others will see them as strange or funny–looking.

Fear Makes Victims

When we fear others, we feel like victims, and victims tend to be self–righteous. Some of the nastiest, most vindictive people I’ve come across are people who feel like saints by virtue of their victim status. They think they’re allowed to say or do anything because they’re on the side of right. Thus, we Jews may sometimes say some pretty hateful things about those we perceive as hating us, not even realizing that we’re sometimes being meaner to them than they are to us. We’re unaware that such actions make us at least as bad as those we’re condemning.

The ultimate road to peace is not to "hate your enemy," but to "love your enemy." Unfortunately, many Jews reject this idea because it’s attributed to Jesus, and shun his teachings as a reaction to the long history of Christian persecution.

I was recently informed by a Jewish scholar that the idea of "loving your enemy" is also found in Jewish mysticism. Let’s not forget that Jesus was born and died a Jew, and his moral teachings were Jewish teachings. If you think about it, "love your enemy" is the ultimate expression of the Golden Rule: since we would want our enemies to love us (which would stop them being our enemies), we have to love them, too. This is the only chance we have of turning them into friends.

True Fear

Not all fear is unjustified. People should rightly fear those who have hurt them in the past, as it is the best predictor for the future. Millions of Jews have been killed by those who have hated us over the millennia and, of course, the possibility of further atrocities is always there. But we have to be realistic. Most of the individuals who hurt Jews in the past are already dead, and just because some people today hate Jews, it doesn’t mean we have to treat them like those who harmed us in the past.

In most countries today - at least in the ones where Jewish populations thrive -­ harming Jews is just as much of a crime as harming anyone else. They have legal systems to protect us, so we don't have to fear anti–Semites as though they’re about to kill us. But by fearing them, as I’ve stated above, we’re unwittingly increasing the likelihood they might do so. So, our fear becomes a self–fulfilling prophecy.

I’ve heard many people criticize Jews as paranoid, and there’s certainly some truth to that. For a group that has produced a disproportionately high percentage of mental health professionals, we should learn to give up this unhealthy attitude. Most people, especially in the world’s democracies, don't hate us as much as we may think they do. Christian leaders, in particular, have made great strides in accepting Jews and denouncing anti–Semitism.

Nevertheless, many of us remain suspicious, and believe this new friendliness is only a step towards their true goal of converting us to Christianity. The truth is that many Christians do, indeed, befriend Jews with the hope of conversion. This doesn't mean they hate us and want to do us harm. From their perspective, they’re doing us a favor. Wanting to convert non–Christians is part of being a Christian. If our Jewish identity is not strong enough to withstand their efforts, who’s fault is it?